Emmaleigh update

It's been almost 2 years since I have updated about Emmaleigh. I will try to be better. I guess I give you an overview of her life even before her life started. She was conceived on New years eve 2006. I had a due date of September 29th which my midwife kept, the OB had a due date of October 9th. I liked the September due date better. I was hoping with all my heart she would come in September . Alex was 5 weeks early. Cameron was 3 weeks early. Isabella was 2 weeks early and Zackariah was only 4 days early but after he was born midwife think He was more than that. Maybe about 2 weeks. I had hoped even with the October due date I could have a September baby ! October 10th Birthday and October 6th was enough along with the long list of cousins and in laws birthday's we wanted to avoid. I had this weird feeling she would be born right in the middle of Zack and Emma. I had thoughts I would pair her up with Bella if she was a girl or Zack if she had turned out to be a boy and put the left over (that sounds bad LOL) October baby at a different time in October since triple birthday was out of the question double is hard enough. As I was getting closer to finding out what I was having I was having weird dreams. Isabella's birth was awesome went exactly how I planned it ! All natural water birth once I got a taste of a natural birth that is all I wanted to do. Zackariah was going to be a repeat of Isabella, but that didn't work out hurricane Katrina ruined that and I felt my world turned upside down even though his birth turned out to be better than I imagine. I got a homebirth not in my home but still it was awesome. I had planned a home birth in my home and I was worried something would ruin my plans again I followed the hurricane predictions and then I started having dreams about having a premature baby and pumping orange juice for HER !! It my dreams it was always a girl ! That was what i wanted but at this point I knew something would ruin my plans. I just thought it was due to Zackariah birth it was just a dream just my fears. I was day dreaming of the awsoem birth I would have. I order my birth kit which had a homebirth tshirt was planning what hospital to take her to for pictures. I couldn't wait. I found out at 20 weeks I was in deed having a little girl ! I had her name picked out I was now 32 weeks and all was left to do was wait. I didn't want to wait any more well either did she ! 32 weeks from my October due date my little girl was almost 2 months premature on August 19th 2007. I didn't have my homebirth my midwife was with me at the hospital and I had her with out drugs like I wanted but believe it or not giving birth was the easy part. The next 8 days she was in the NICU I was turned away due to hospital rules time and time again to see her I was sent home a week before she was. I was fighting with everything I had to make sure nursing worked out with her. I took her home at 8 days I had my gallbladder removed when she was 12 days and the stones at 3 months. The nursing went well, but when I got home with her it was surreal something didn't feel right as I looked at the place I planned to her still ready for the birth of a baby. The birth kit still there I finally donated it to my midwife. I will alway be sad and mourn her birth that didn't happen. I have struggled with these feelings for 3 1/2 yrs now. Many don't understand how grateful I am to have my baby cause we did learn she could have died had I allowed the doctors to hold her off to Monday like they wanted. If i knew now what I didn't know then I would have had her at home cause following the sign of my body was what was best for her. With that said no one but me understands that we lost part of that bond that way when my baby was born and taken from me with barley a kiss allowed and I was treated as if I had to earn the right to see her and she wasn't my baby due to hospital rules. I have 4 other kids and I've been there mother. I choose when and where they go and what and what not is done to them and who is in there life. Yet her at the hospital I had to okay it with the hospital if it was okay to see my baby to feed my baby or even hold her. I can;t explain how happy I am to have this wonderful little girl in my life yet something died that day a part of me and who I had worked so hard to become. Any how Her first year was a struggle. I weighted her all the time she had struggles which she got PT, & OT for and speech came in after she was a year. She has issues with her ears which she got tubes at 6 months. After her 1st birthday we moved across the lake and OT, PT, & speech picked up over here. around 17 months she started to walk and PT stopped and we dropped OT for special instruction. Once she turned 3 she was transfer to the school system where she got 30 mins 2 x a week at the school and PEI teacher who met her for 3 mins 2 times a week. We learned Emma is highly allergic to poison ivy and we also learned this year she has 2 birth defects on her spine. One was it just didn't full develop due to her being born premature, but it causes no issues just looks different on an xray had a held her for the full 40 weeks it would have finished developing, how ever the 2nd one was the start of spina bifida and had I held her any longer the spina bifida may have gotten bad and she may not been able to walk, run swim, ect. So with all we lost that day It was a reason she was born early and I'm trying to take peace and comfort with that. When Emma was 8 months old we sign up with the march of dimes walk to walk in her name and know how lucky we are to have her and hopes we are helping them so that families like ours don't have to deal with birth defects and premature birth one day. Emmaleigh is doing wonderful she is looking forward to her 4th birthday she loves Dora !!! She is having a Dora swimming party ! She will also go to school three half days next yr ! It's bitter sweet I'm sad but happy to watch her grow and learn ! She could go 5 full days but everyone things the 3 half days is better for her since she missed a whole year. She should be home with me all this year and going to Pre-K the next yr but due to this coming early she jumped a whole year ahead. She isn't ready for that yet. We will see where she is come Christmas for now we having fun learning to swim and looking forward to her birthday and the start of school and all the fun stuff we will do this summer !